Tender Mercies

We were able to go to church today here in Communist China. I was so happy to get the information for where church was from my cousin Stephen (yet another tender mercy that just fell into place!) and it was actually really easy to get there! When we asked our guide to help us she asked what church it was, we told her it was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and she said; the Mormon's?????? And then she shook my shoulders and kind of shook me and said over and over "no Mormon's here, no Mormon's" it was kind of funny, because I just kept saying, "it's ok, it's ok, just call this number and they'll explain it to you!" Finally, she called the Branch President and he talked to her and explained everything, then he asked to talk to me and the first thing he said was "you can't bring her with you if she's a Chinese National" and he said it could be really bad for the church if we attempted that. I told him we wouldn't and that we'd come by ourselves and then he was happy to give directions and tell her where to send us. I knew the government had very strict rules concerning religion, but I don't think I realized how secret it actually is until we went to the building where the branch meets. It is on the seventh floor of an apartment building in two suites. The hall was very very dark and until we could hear music coming from a door that was closed, we had no idea where it was. When we heard the hymn "Guide Us Oh Thou Great Jehovah" we all felt so happy and at peace. We walked in and sat down on some lawn chairs that were set up with a makeshift podium at the front and two deacons and two priests sitting at a small table for the sacrament. I know the talks were important, I heard what they were about, being disciples of Christ, Faith and Staking your life on the principles of the Gospel, but honestly, I was just so happy to know that the church is the same wherever you go. The Spirit was strong in that little high rise meeting house, a sweet family of 7 sang a beautiful primary song that made me cry. It made me feel at home, it made me feel at peace and most of all it helped me to realize once again that Heavenly Father has guided me through every single process of this journey. In one of the blessings Jon gave me before coming on this trip, he said I needed to find the song that would speak peace to me, that I could listen to and it would bring me comfort and would help me when things were overwhelming and hard. I have been very stressed about so many things these last few months, I have prayed harder than I have in a very long time about more than just this adoption, I have struggled to let go of things, to make sense of some things and to go on even when things were really tough and unknown for me. I thought I knew what song it was, but about a month before this trip I found another one that has been a great comfort to me and i will never ever hear it again without it reminding me that the Lord is always with us, even when we're afraid, unsure, sad or overwhelmed. The closing hymn just "happened" to be this song today at church. It was another "tender mercy" from Heavenly Father to me. I know His guiding hand is over us, I know He has a plan for me and for all of His children wherever they may be, whether it's in small town Utah, or Communist China, He knows it all and He is aware of our every need. I felt Him with me today, even for things as little as a special song being sung, or us being able to get three taxis without speaking a word of Chinese, without any problems at all, or clean laundry being washed and folded and smelling good in neat little bags waiting for us when we got back to the hotel, or us eating lots of strange food and not getting sick at all, or my children and husband happy and healthy at home, or a group of travel companions who are good people who help me to want to be a better person, amazing family members with me here in China and supporting me at home, and a sweet baby girl who already recognizes me as her mom, who was well taken care of in her previous home, who is tiny but healthy and happy. My life is full of tender mercies and I am so grateful.